Songs That Saved Me

 “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”

The words uttered by Bob Marley one very high afternoon, came back to me while I watched the Grammy this year.

Of the many things I take for granted in life, music seems to top the list. It is always there for me, every mood, every phase and every night.

Dobie Grey passed away December 2011 leaving behind his masterpiece “ Drift Away”.

 

“ Gimmi the beat boys and free my soul,

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll..

And drift away “

 

I remembered how song has seen me through those lonely teenage afternoons, stopped me from leaving Xaviers and running back home to Calcutta where I felt safe and protected.

Music helps my laughter ring clearer, lyrics give voice to the feelings even I don’t understand.

“ We Didn’t Start The Fire “ Inspired me to read, to learn to know more. There is so much to the world that we don’t know, the wars, the deaths, the economy, the inventions and the people who changed it all. 

Pimply, tomboyish and rebellious girl that I was, drowning in guilt for the fire I felt rage inside. Trying everything to be as different from my family as I could, yet hating myself for not wanting to identify with them. “ The Times They Are A Changing “ made me realize it was OK.

I was meant to be different, I was meant to be a rebel. I was meant to find my own cause.

 Do they know how they have changed us? Do they know how they have inspired? Does the song writer know how he helped the 16 year old and 60 years old through every heartbreak?

 Would Dobie Grey ever know that he was a friend in need, when no one else would take the time? How does Adel know every word I wanted to say to that ungrateful Boy?

 

It’s a talent I am glad god conjured, or where would I be today without that constant companion and the most understanding friend….. Music

Shaadi dot bomb!!

In a drunken stupor, my well meaning friends decided to take the reins of my non existent love life into their own hands.

Thus it was decided that a good matrimony website should do the trick.. So a profile was created , details filled and the wait for common man charming to come along and swooooopp me off..

The profile username and password were chain mailed, so that the interests cud be sorted by my friends… hoping to sieve out the ammm.. unsuitable. Thus R, S and me began the entertaining task of rejecting 30 interest average per week…

I wish to share some of the reasons why the profile was deleted 3 weeks later.

Lets call him.. Suitor X.

No of calls taken : 1

Duration : i dont know.. i was so buzzed with his hot air..

X: Hellow … is that N?

N: Yes, who is this?

X:  Hi , this is X on the other line. I saw ur profile on the matrimony site… is this a good time to talk?

N: Actually im commuting right now.. and the traffic noise is terrible.. cud we talk later?

X: Actually i can hear u very well.. so we  can talk now..

N:  Huh! sorry come again i dint get you .

X: I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR U VERY WELL… SO CAN WE TALK NOOWWW??

N: Oh… okay!!

X: So …. whats up ?

N : not much , im commuting back home from work… fighting the traffic.

X: Oh so u work?

N: Aammm yep!! Hey listen.. i haven’t done this thing before.. i mean spoken to someone from a site before.. im may be a little awkward…and

X: (cut me off) ohhh rubbish … i read ur profile.. ur from Xaviers .. how can u be awkward .. aap log to bahut bindaas hote ho…and i have done this a lot.. .. i make u comfortable.. so where do u stay?

N: ( after opening and closing my mouth several times) ..im not comfortable sharing too much personal information at this point, but i can tel u i stay in “xyz” area.

X: ok listen.. lets cut this chase short and….

N: ( cuts him off.. not becuz she cant hear him.. but cant believe this guy really talks like this with a stranger ) WHAT??

X : I SAID THAT LETS CUT THIS SHORT ( YELLING .. cuz he actually thot i cudnt hear him ) .. i want to get straight to the point … im very serious about getting married .. and

N: ( cuts him off) listen then i think u shud know that my friends and i were not half serious when we..

X: ( cut me off) listen sweetheart .. let me be the judge of that….

( be a judge of WHAT?? you dint even hear what i saaiddddddd!!!))

X: (continues ) i dont want to waste too much of time.. what i suggest we do is.. lets meet for coffee… but only for exactly an hour .. so we waste only one hour of each others time.. after that meeting if we wish to meet again.. then we meet for lunch for 2 hours. And after this meeting we shall decided if we want to marry each other.. and the third meeting can be arranged to settle details such as family and STUFF. That way we wont waste too much of our time.. what do u suggest??

N: amm X… u seem to have some very structured ideas.. and.. sorry how old are u ?

X: 37

N: amm .. maybe you can give me some time to decide if i want to speak to you again?

X: What?

N: okay iv reached home.. so will need to hangup … ok .. all the best for life!

N sent him a msg later, briefly explaining that she is not sure if she wished to speak to him again.

N happily never heard from X again!!!

2 Years at Mumbai University

Uuggghhh!!!! The university sucks, the professors are all crazy, the syllabus doesn’t make sense , and the travelling is just killing me… you want more reasons for me to hate my two years of M.A?? I will provide them on demand, classify, colour code them and set it down in stone in chronological order.
But I went to class…. Everyday..in the same 330 bus for two whole years, never missed any of the sleep inducing lectures, why?? Because of them. Those strangers, those equally stressed out strangers whom now I call my friends.
I know them for just 3 years now. One of them is in the u.s of a. one is in an ashram on her life quest, one has given up love for life and the other is still fighting his fear of commitment, and one stays just two bus stops away. You don’t have to be chadhi buddies to be best of friends.. no we don’t talk to each other all day on the phone.. manage to meet a few times in a month… the main mode of communication is a long mail once in a while. And yet I feel strangely connected to them.
Strangely we don’t need alcohol to have fun, when we are together our brain seems to produce it on its own accord. 23 year olds playing catch in the almost abandoned university library, having picnics on the university lawns under the pretext of working on our journals. Going to every major departmental event drunk, this time on real alcohol. Yes drunk to the seniors farewell, drunk to the fresher’s party , drunk to t he annual day, drunk to the seminar of the decade; insured that we would have fun irrespective of how bored others were.
They made my life bearable. They made my life immensely fun. Those days of meeting everyday are over. But the connection continues. I still call them and cry about my fight at home. I still message them when I see a cute guy in the bus, or a rainbow from my bedroom window. My stressful day is broken by a message about how good their day has been. Every small achievement is celebrated over the “dirty canteen” chai. Even waiting outside the “Xerox walla” for 2 hours are full of memories of creating gang names, giving each other superhero names and qualities, fighting over what to name the university dogs and even discussing everyday bowel movement.
Today we meet less often. The last time we met at R’s home, there was nothing on tv.. there is nothing good on her t.v. ever cuz her dish is broken. So we ended up tuning into a Marathi ladies talk show, muting it and giving it dialogs of our own. From a talk show that discusses everyday life problems they ended up talking about how constipated they were, how useless their husbands were in bed and how much they love Justin Timberlake.
R is crazy about anything Korean and she is a water-holic , Sl is crazy about southpark and does not know how amazing a writer she can be, S hates it when we girls suffer from PMS and he is the most diligent calorie counter, ( I tore his pants after classes one day ).   N claims she can drive, but in goa she tried to drive a car without realizing that the keys wer not even in the car, E always stays in touch she is one of the most socially intelligent people I have ever met and she hates studying.

I don’t know what keeps us together, maybe the fact that we accept each other, yes we bitch and complain about each other.. but have always managed to love each other. Who says u need to be in constant touch to validate your friendship? Friendship exists as long as you believe it does. It does not matter if we meet once a year or once a week. We are truly friends for life. Sometimes I feel we have no boundaries, that we violate each others sense of privacy by confronting each other about all our faults. Talk about god and wonder who this god person is, we discuss about being in love with more than one person at a time, reveal out deepest sexual desires and secrets, discuss out fears of growing old, tell each other how we stalk x boyfriends And then there are times we regret that we are too open too naked in front of each other.Do we know too much? yes we do… but then that feeling passes… cuz my friends don’t judge me.. they are too busy loving me. They know exactly what to say and how to say it. They know just how hard to squeeze me when they hug, they know when to just listen and when to shut me up. it’s worth being that intimate… its worth getting drunk the night before exams, its worth staying up one more night when u have not slept for three. Its worth fighting for that goa trip, its worth wasting that one day pretending to study in the library, and knowing that u are just pretending and not studying. It’s all so very worth it.